Double Life

The transition to NZ has been relatively easy. I’ve actually forgotten how long I’ve been here (1.5 months) as it feels so natural. I didn’t even suffer from jetlag as I went out drinking and dancing my first night in NZ which acclimatized me to the time difference.

Now that I have a job and a home I really feel settled but it feels strange because I feel like I’m living a double life.

Back home in Toronto I work in the arts, in theatre, in the film festival world and I love it and I’m good at it, but I often forget about my life back home.. I see theatre, opera, film and concerts on a regular basis. I have drunken political conversations with anyone possible. I am confident in myself, my ideals, and my passion.

Here in New Zealand, I work in the service industry as a waitress and I’m not great at it but not horrible. I’m not confident in myself, I can’t express my ideas and my passion, and the arts feel a thousand miles away. I don’t feel like myself but I’m not completely unhappy with that. My life is very simple here, I go to work, I read a lot, I drink wine or beer on the patio or the beach, and I have no worries or stress.  I do wish I could have a conversation about art, any art form, just some acknowledgment that art exists.

 I have a double life with very different goals, different friends and different skill sets. I may not feel like myself here but maybe I’m becoming the person I’m going to be. A very wise and wonderful woman once said to me that you truly do not become the person you are until you hit your 30’s. As my 28^th birthday approaches very quickly, I’m not sure if this new person is part of the person I will become or if I am just on a vacation from the person that I really am.

Oh my double lives… both are lovely and both are satisfying but in very different ways. I have to remember not to lose sight of who I am as it is quite easy to do here.  

XOXO

Sid